I feel…
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This is deceptively simple. This sounds simplistic in fact. Daft. Not worth mentioning.But….
This saves arguements. This gets your point across without starting WW3. This also means you keep your power. No-one else pulls your strings. You get to communicate what you want to say and have the other person hear it. And all it is – is… I FEEL’X’ (WHEN ‘Y’)
There – I told you it was simple |
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It’s harder to get the hang of than it looks. It needs practice. I suggest you practice in your head at first – about anything . “I feel happy when I see Autumn leaves ” “I feel cross when I catch the red light” “I feel mystified when that happens.”Then, when you’re ready, try it out on unsuspecting strangers. “I feel amused when this happens” “I feel happy when you say that”. It may sound odd to you but it won’t to them. I promise.
Then you can take it into more contentious arenas. Much of the time we express things in terms of “You make me feel (angry/sick..)” The other person gets no further than hearing the accusation – “You make me…” And then they retaliate. Without even hearing what you actually wanted to say – that is – how you feel. If you want to start an arguement this is a great way to do it. When you say “I feel…” not only are you not accusing the other person, so they can hear what you say without needing to defend themself, but they can’t contradict you. You are simply stating how you feel. Furthermore, you are owning your feelings – not giving the responsibility for them to someone else. You keep your power instead of becoming someone else’s puppet. One thing – it’s “I FEEL” – an emotion. “I feel (happy/angry/delighted/irritated..).” not “I feel that (the such and such is so and so.)” The latter is a thought – not a feeling. Try it – it’s almost magic Plus – it’s Autumn and days are noticibly shorter. Now’s the time to do some daily Sunbathing. You could look at my Sunbathing blog by scrolling down to the bottom of the home page of my website. It’s a great thing to do at this time of the year. I hope you have a wonderful November. Remember, if you want to contact me you are very welcome. With all best wishes, Suzanne |